( lost )

August 30, 2010

i love you so much.
i can't look at you.
it hurts.

i really, really miss this.

when i was young
i thought love was a pas de deux.

i'm not disappointed.
not one bit.
just disillusioned.

i could spend all day here.
in fact, i think i did.

6 notes:

  1. Are you a bunhead?? I always love to find out other bloggers are dancers. i don't know why it surprises me, maybe I just don't think of dancers as computer people because I never see them in that setting? Maybe because now that I am older and away from studio I meet less and less of our kind. About once a month (maybe PMS, ha!) I find myself on youtube watching dancers nearly in tears.. it hurts, I miss it so and I'm even still currently performing with a company. It's not full time, it's not the same. Ballet was never my forte, but I could watch it for hours.

  2. tears. isn't it funny how you can still feel it in your soul. that second photo...that feeling...THAT is why i danced.

    thanks for this...

  3. emily, yes i'm a total bunhead! i've danced since i was a little squirt, but wandered away one too many times and it's just the occasional class for me now. barre is always home, no matter how out of shape i am.

    and yes, it's so hard to watch. my feet tend to point and flex with the movements of the dancers. i have a stack of ballet documentaries in my netflix queue that i can't bring myself to watch. too sad.

    what company are you performing with?

    i think a lot of us ex-dancers haunt yoga studios. the same kind of discipline, but not necessarily the same kind of freedom.

    and kim, of course i knew you'd love this. when does your dance class start?

  4. I have never danced, but I know the feeling you are talking about. I played the violin for many years, and my fingers twitch when I listen to [any] music. I want to be one of those people who can listen to classical music in the background while they work, but I get too involved and all productivity stops. And I completely understand the inability to enjoy things you love too much.

  5. I'm currently with Project:Motion in Memphis, TN. It's been really hard living in an area where the arts struggle so badly for funding. There just isn't much of a culture of dance here (only 1 ballet company and one modern company, and P:M only pays for performances). And I'm completely guilty of haunting yoga studios! I agree with your observations whole heartedly!

  6. i take ballet!! i took it as a little person and i took it back up two years ago. it's the only thing that quiets my mind completely. and in that there is peace.