June 3, 2013
the thing i've been fighting about writing this blog has something to do with generalization. writing for a wider, and sometimes unknown, audience. i am not really an audience kind of person. i'm a one-on-one kind of person, and a rather private person at that. it can be a bit daunting to throw my words and thoughts to the wind, and wonder how they catch your sails. in truth, there is one person in all the world i write well for. for that person, i like the way my words roll and whisper. (i like myself when i'm with you.) and when i write to all of you at once, i hear the words tripping over themselves, halting and faltering. i find myself second guessing and editing and paring all real truth and meaning out of things... just in case you won't like it.
i needed a break from that doubt and indecision. a month of much needed air. during which, while i may not have quite found my footing, i have at least turned myself in a more honest direction. (west is best.)
i know a few of you from your friendly hallos and the way you poke your heads 'round the door to say howdy-do. i love that, i really do. but i am going to stop thinking of all of you at once and write for just one. and if you don't like it, you will take your leave and we will part ways gracefully in this faceless internet place. and if you do stay, maybe you'd like to sit for a cup of tea with me, and we will have a few minutes in the afternoon, discussing the bits of life that are true and beautiful. and maybe sometimes the bits that are sad and imperfect, and later we will realize they were just as beautiful in their own way.
(the image has little to do with things. except maybe the way air plants have an uncertain between-ness that reminds me of how i felt about writing here. it's hard to be neither one thing nor the other. we all want to be something, somehow.)