this is the thing i want you to remember. the thing we all need to remember. you need to let it out. when these feelings get bigger than the inside of you, they need to come out. you can't keep them in, not really. they will well up inside you and push their way out. they will do this in a million little ways. ways you can't predict, or understand. and that will be worse.
if you need to lie on your back on the floor in the middle of the room and cry until the tears puddle in your ears, do it. eventually the fact of having wet ears will make you giggle and the dog will wander over to see what you're doing and it will all be over. it will all be out.
this is the thing i want you to remember. let it out, love.