March 18, 2014
it has been a crazy month and work is taking over more than usual. early mornings, late nights, and all the hours in between. the thing about working for yourself is you never know when to stop. chances are, you love what you do, which makes it all too easy to drown yourself in it. and on the practical side of things, if it's all you, you can't even hope someone else will pick up the slack if you just sort of drift off for a bit. and after awhile, you start to feel the burnout creeping up on you. little fingers of long sighs and a sort of weight in your movements. at the same time, you may still feel the heart monitor spike of ideas and excitement. there is so much that could be done, if the time and energy resources to do it were limitless.
and then you realize, that for the past month, it has been all work. even the moments of play have been work related. the way you used to get to come home from work and shed it all like a winter coat, that's not really going to happen anymore. but perhaps, you have have become a bit too one-track and forgotten the self in self-employed.
i'm trying. i'm trying by play and experimentation. (namely with a little lap loom and a lot of mistakes.) i'm trying by allowing myself the hours needed to repot all the plants that have tripled in size since we moved. (i think they like the light as much as i do.) i'm trying by putting down my work to spend some time on the yoga mat. (this one is hardest of all, and probably the most important.)
advice i once gave to someone i love: be as kind to yourself as you are to others. advice i probably should have given myself. we really must let the well refill, don't you think?