oh the humanity!

May 31, 2009

dear favorite jeans, nee citizens of humanity...

you were my very first pair of "expensive" jeans and i may have trembled a little as i handed over my credit card. of course, now the world has completely lost its marbles and you are no longer "expensive" but more middle of the road, average joe jeans. 

and i really, really loved you. granted, you did tend to stretch out a bit and had to be washed to whip you back into shape. and of course, every time i washed you, well damned you, you went and shrank. and since my pants were tighter (as they were supposed to be) than the last time i put them on (when they were too baggy) naturally i assumed that i had pudged up a bit. thanks for that. that was real fun for my self esteem. but two days in, omg were you perfect. like a perfectly unmade bed. 

and since you were "expensive" i sort of figured you and me would last forever. it didn't occur to me that you used to be deep, dark indigo blue and now half the time i can't find you because i'm looking for dark jeans and you're masquerading as a faded pair. and your crisp corners and edges have gone to a soft white fray. but i still love you. i wore you like three times this week already.

but i think we have to break up. for good. it's not just a fat day, or anything like that. it's the gaping hole i discovered today, and it's just not in a place that ought to be shared with polite society. sure, i'll come back to you for dirty weekend jobs and painting but you can't tell anyone.

there is an upside to all this. lately i've been thinking that i needed a new pair of jeans. and thanks to that hole, i'm pretty sure it's an actual need and not just a cleverly worded want. they often get mixed up.

(and of course, i put a hole in the knee of my second favorite pair of jeans last week. those, however are more publicly serviceable. we're just in a fight, not a full-fledged  divorce.)

1 notes:

  1. Oh, darling. This has to be the funniest, saddest, most eloquent thing you've wrote. It's now my favorite post. I felt the same way about my White House/Black Market jeans (bought thrift, but expensive in my eyes, because of the brand) They had to be retired because of an impolite tear as well.
    You're such a good writer.
    Condolences on the jeans. : (